Remember that 何です is pronounced “nan des” instead of “nani desu”, probably due to a phenomenon I have dubbed “The Efficiency Slur”.

My guess is that most people hate using more syllables than they have to, especially for very common words and phrases. So they drop a few letters, slur a few sounds together and suddenly everyone is going around saying “It’s” instead of “It is” and “nan des” instead of “nani desu”.

So here’s a fun project for any really bored linguists out there: Calculate how many syllables the average person “saves” by using contracted words. I’m betting the savings from “It’s” alone will be enough to add an entire day to my lifespan that would have otherwise been wasted on two syllable “It is”.

Vocabulary

制服 = せいふく = uniform, usually a school uniform

Transcript

言語ガールズ #17

Scholastic Stereotype

Yellow: おはよう

Blue: それは何ですか

Yellow: これは制服です

Blue: I can see that it’s a 制服. But why are you wearing it?

Yellow: It IS a school uniform, isn’t it?

Blue: It’s a JAPANESE school uniform! This is an American school.

Blue: We don’t wear uniforms. I’m not even sure we have a dress code.

Yellow: Then there aren’t any rules saying I can’t wear a 制服 to school, are there?

Don’t you love it when a foreign language has easy grammar? Just add one syllable to the end of a sentence and it’s a question. No messy conjugations or word rearranging. Of course, not all Japanese grammar is this simple so enjoy it while you can.

Although to be honest I wouldn’t call any part of Japanese grammar genuinely “hard”. It’s mostly just “different”, which can make it seem harder than English related languages like Spanish or German.

Vocabulary

猫= ねこ = cat

Transcript

言語ガールズ #16

Curiosity Killed The Cat

Yellow: My grandpa always said “The only dumb question is the one you don’t ask”, but I don’t know how to ask questions in 日本語.

Blue: It’s easy! Just add か to the end of a sentence and it turns into a question.

Blue: For example: それは猫です means “That is a cat.”

Blue: But それは猫ですか means “Is that a cat?”

Yellow: So the か is like a spoken question mark?

Blue: That’s a good way to think of it.

Yellow: I wonder what a spoken question mark would sound like in 英語…

Yellow: Maybe something like “?”

Blue: How did you even make that sound!?

In my opinion 何, or “what”, is one of the most useful Japanese words to know. It shows up a ton in normal conversation and is an important part in asking questions. You can even use it all on its own as an interjection if something has left you really surprised and confused.

It’s also an easy word to pick out when watching Japanese shows and movies since it usually comes near the end of sentences. It’s even easier to notice when someone gets surprised and just yells out “なに!?” at the top of their lungs.

Vocabulary

何 = なに = what

Transcript

言語ガールズ #15

Who’s On First?

Blue: Today we’re going to be learning about what.

Yellow: Why are you asking me? Was I supposed to come up with a lesson plan?

Blue: I mean today we’re going to be learning the 日本語 word for “what”.

Yellow: The 日本語 word for what? Is this is a guessing game?

Yellow: Are going to learn the word for cat? Strawberry? Tactical fighter jet?

Blue: The 日本語 word for “what” is 何. It’s usually pronounced なに.

Blue: Sometimes it’s pronounced なん instead, like when it comes right before です.

Yellow: So… today we’re learning about 何?

Blue: That’s right.

Yellow: Hmm… nope. Translating the question to 日本語 didn’t make it easier to guess. Just tell me what word we’re going to learn.

Everybody here is aware that I’m only a Japanese hobbyist, right? I know more than enough to teach you grammar and a ton of vocabulary but I’m out of my league when it comes to complex questions like “Which of these very similar words would a native speaker use in this particular scenario?”

So if you ever catch me making a mistake, please let me know in either the comments or by email.

Vocabulary

本 = ほん = book

Transcript

言語ガールズ #14

Disclaimer

Yellow: OK, let’s see if I understand this whole “this” thing.

Yellow: My book is この本because it’s close to me.

Yellow: But your book is その本because it’s far from me but close to you.

Yellow: And that book way over there is あの本because it’s far from both of us.

Blue: That’s… probably right.

Yellow: What do you mean, “probably”?

Blue: I’m not a native speaker or a professional translator, so I can’t guarantee that I’m right when it comes to tricky grammar.

Yellow: But I thought you were an expert!!

Blue: Only compared to you…

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In my experience the shortest words in a language are almost always the most complicated. For some English examples, consider the crazy conjugations of “to be” (am, are, is, was, were) or the many different meanings of common words like run (run away, run a business, run a program, a run of bad luck) or set (set down, set up, set a date, matching set). On the other hand big words like “defenestrate” are usually easy to conjugate and only have one or two specific meanings.

Vocabulary

あれ = faraway that (noun)

あの = faraway that (adjective)

Transcript

言語ガールズ #13

Go Long

Blue: 日本語doesn’t just have words for “this” and “that”, but also has a third word that means “that faraway thing”.

Blue: As a noun this word is あれ and as an adjective it is あの.

Yellow: So how do I know which “that” to use?

Blue: You use それ and そのwhen things are far from you but close to your listener and use あれ and あの when talking about things far away from both of you.

Blue: But it’s not just about physical distance! Familiarity is important too.

Blue: I might use あれto point out an unfamiliar book but use それwhen talking about a book I have already read.

Blue: It seems complicated, but just remember that それ, その, あれ and あの all mean “that”. The difference between them will become more obvious the more 日本語 you listen to and read.

Yellow: All these full panel lectures didn’t leave any room for a punchline!

Next Comic >>

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これ vsこの and それ vs そのis the sort of thing that seems hard to remember at first but becomes instinctive after listening to enough Japanese.

Vocabulary

この = this (adjective)

その = that (adjective)

犬 = いぬ = dog

可愛い = かわいい = cute

Transcript

言語ガールズ #12

How Much Is That Doggy In The Window?

Yellow: Let’s talk more about that “This is a dog” versus “This dog…” stuff you mentioned the other day.

Blue: Sure.

Blue: When “this” and “that” acting like nouns, like in “This is a dog” or “That is a dog”, you use これ and それ.

Blue: But when they are used like adjectives, like in “This dog” and “That dog”, you need to use この and その instead.

Yellow: So I could say “This is a dog. This dog is cute” like this?

Yellow: これは犬です

Yellow: この犬 は可愛い です

Blue: I think you’ve got it.

Yellow: I think I could still use some more practice. Maybe if we had a real dog we could talk about…

Blue: Nice try, but you’ll need a better excuse than that to bring a pet to school.

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What’s better than a cake? Two cakes glued together with frosting.

What’s better than two cakes glued together with frosting? Three cakes glued together with frosting!

Vocabulary

これ = this (noun)

それ = that (noun)

Transcript

言語ガールズ #11

Mouthwatering Metaphor

Blue: Today is a vocab lesson.

Blue: これ means “this” and それ means “that”. But only as nouns!

Blue: But they can only be used as nouns!

“This is a dog” is okay, but you need different words for “This dog is cute”.

Yellow: So basically…

これは“this”です

それは“that”です

Blue: Exactly!

Blue: And I’m impressed by how you tied this into our last grammar lesson.

Yellow: Good lessons should build on top of each other, like a layer cake or learning.

Yellow: But that’s enough 日本語 for today. I just remembered I have some “chores” I need to do.

Blue: You’re going home to bake a layer cake, aren’t you?

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I did my best to come up with a comically outrageous conspiracy theory… but instinct tells me there’s probably at least one person out there who sincerely believes this. Which is silly because we all know the real alien threat is cybernetically enhanced war hamsters, not lizard clones.

Vocabulary

国 = くに = country

楽しい = たのしい = fun, enjoyable

Transcript

言語ガールズ #10

Shhh… They’re Listening

Blue: Now that we know the rule for “A is B” let’s take turns giving each other practice sentences to translate.

Yellow: Me first!

Yellow: Japan is a country.

Blue: 日本は国です

Blue: Japanese is fun.

Yellow: 日本語は楽しいです

Note: Read the columns right to left!

Yellow: The public school system is a cover-up for the ongoing lizard-alien-clone invasion.

Blue: I’m… not going to translate that.

Blue: For a variety of reasons.

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Esperanto is an artificial language specially designed to be easy for Europeans and other Westerners to learn. It’s actually been really successful as far as artificial languages go but it doesn’t look like it’s ever going to become the universal, global tongue the inventors hoped it could be.

Transcript

言語ガールズ #9

Fill In The Blanks

Blue: Learning vocabulary isn’t much good if you don’t learn any grammer rules to go with it.

Yellow: Awww… I was hoping we could avoid grammer for a little bit longer.

Blue: The most important grammer pattern is how to say “A is B”.

Yellow: I actually know that one!

Yellow: AはB です “.

Blue: But watch out!

Blue:The は is pronounced more like “wa” than the usual “ha” and the です is pronounced more like “des” than “desu”.

Yellow: Hey, isn’t 日本語supposed to be a phonetic language?!

Blue: It’s mostly phonetic. Honest!

Yellow: All right… but keep springing surprises on me and I’m switching to Esperanto.

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It’s easy to make fun of English for having lots of strange grammar exceptions and weird spellings, but it really isn’t that much worse than your average language.

Also, here’s a fun thought: America was named after the explorer Amerigo Vespucci. Which means there was a very real chance it could have been called “Vespuccica” instead.

Vocabulary

アメリカ = America

イングランド = England

英語 = えいご = English

Transcript

言語ガールズ #8

English Has Lots Of Exceptions

Yellow: So languages are just a country name followed by 語?

Blue: That’s the pattern.

Yellow: So then we speak アメリカ語?

Blue: You do know that we speak English not “American”, right?

Yellow: Maybe you do…

Yellow: Fine then. Does that mean that English is イングランド語

Blue: That’s a very logical guess. But it’s wrong.

Blue: English is actually 英語. It doesn’t follow the pattern 100%.

Yellow: So English has weird grammar rules even in other languages…